What if war games were like real war

6 Confessions

So I was persuaded to do a meme (which I think we all secretly love doing, because who doesn’t love being obscure and vain at the same time??) – here are my six confessions:

1. I think one of the big reasons I want to go to Russia is because it would make my Where I’ve Been map look AWESOME.
2. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to need to get another masters at some point – I simultaneously look forward to and dread going back to school.
3. I am convinced that the cause of my eventual death will be “excessive annoyance.” It is entirely possible that I will one day get so irritated that I just die.
4. Somehow, as I’ve gotten older, I have managed to become a (mostly) mature functioning adult and yet more hyperbolic at the same time.
5. My cat has been to more states than some people I know (Texas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Missouri, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee, Louisiana, Mississippi, Kentucky, Arkansas … and I think that’s it). I’m sorry, Kitty, for dragging you all over the country.
6. When I was a kid, I had a TON of allergies; then, I grew out of them. I am now gradually getting them all back, including a spontaneous new allergy to Neosporin that happened last year. My body is trying to take me down from the inside.

Juniper

Dear Juniper,

You think you’re so great. You think that because you are a benevolent looking green thing in a state populated solely by apathetic people and hippies that your offensive nature would go unnoticed.

You were wrong, Juniper.

Juniper, I don’t understand why you are so hell-bent on making my life miserable. While my eyes may find you aesthetically neutral, my sinuses want you to die.

And so I propose, Juniper, that you stick to that for which you are good – the ONLY thing for which you are good – and that is flavoring gin.

No, Juniper, I know what you are going to say – but please, spare us the painful words of resentful parting and go quietly. Into my bottle of gin. And out of my sinuses. Because I cannot handle going home everyday with headaches that have me in tears. If you really loved me, Juniper, you wouldn’t want to make me cry.

No love,

Me

Photo stolen shamelessly from this person, since I was too afraid to get that close to take a picture – http://www.flickr.com/photos/razzumitos/4950498890/

 

FYI

Sagging your jeans looks dumb. Sagging skinny jeans looks even dumber.

I can’t believe people actually do this. STOP IT.