Play Tic Tac Toe with a DEAD CHICKEN!!

The Buffalo Thunder Resort near Santa Fe is currently running a promotion to play tic tac toe with a live chicken. I really don’t think this is all that challenging – I mean, it’s not like the chicken can employ a whole lot of strategy (presumably). This is, after all, an animal that can drown if it looks at the sky while it’s raining.

Is it really fair for a chicken to be playing a game in which it cannot really know the stakes? Can the CHICKEN collect $50 if it wins? (And, more importantly, should the human against which it’s playing have to give the chicken $50 of his or her own money if the chicken wins? I mean, the person just lost a game of wits to a chicken.)

And why need there be specification of the fact that this is a “LIVE CHICKEN?” Are we to assume that if we see a billboard that says, “Play Tic Tac Toe with a CHICKEN,” that it could also mean a digitally-created chicken? A Robot Chicken? A DEAD CHICKEN?

The other reason my cat will die before I do

Let’s first assume that my cat will die before I do because I probably was not kidnapped by terrorists who inserted a time sensitive explosive device in my chest.

The other reason is that my cat is, at any given point, likely to give herself apoplexy from irrational fears. In between 12 hour naps.

WAIT. Is that the faint rustle of a plastic bag 30 feet away in the other room??

…and thar she blows.