Fudgebudget

Wherein I express myriad incredulities

A passive-aggressive letter for therapeutic purposes

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To the Assholes who broke into my car last night:

I hope you bought some really great drugs with the $10 you will get for my $100 stereo. I hope that dimebag is the best dimebag ever, because it’s going to cost me a few hundred to undo the damage that you did to my vehicle.

Oh, and those CDs you took? They are worthless. I burned them from iTunes playlists. I am still not sure why you took them. I can only hope that my depressing taste in music incites an overwhelming feeling of guilt in your otherwise empty souls. May the guilt cause such loud echos in the space where your heart should be that you personally experience Edgar Allen Poe’s “Tell-Tale Heart.” I am reasonably sure that is the closest you will ever come to appreciating classic literature, you heathens.

I firmly believe that one day, karma will bite you in the ass. Hopefully, Karma is the pitbull that lives next door.

May your drug habits leave you permanently impotent and unable to ever spawn children.

No love,

Me

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Written by fudgebudget

February 4, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Posted in General

Tagged with , ,

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