Wherein I express myriad incredulities

Why I will be one of the first to die when the race wars come*

with one comment

If you aren’t already listening to “Helter Skelter,” then you should be.

Why will I be one of the first to die when the race wars come? Because no one will want to share their emergency kosher foodstuffs with me, as I will have spent too much time making fun of it.

Now, eFoods Global doesn’t say that their products are intended specifically for use after food distribution has been interrupted due to the outbreak of the apocalyptic race wars that Charles Manson assures us are coming, but I feel it is implied.

For almost three decades, we have made it our mission to help families all over the country serve, save, and plant food products so they will never have to worry about begging, especially during times of hardship such as

• Poor economic times
• Famines
• Droughts
• Disasters

And when the race wars DO come, not only will you and your family be fed, you can also make a profit! WIN.

At eFoods Global™ our delicious, nutritious and affordable foods are convenient for daily use and are also easily stored as reserves for use during times of need. Serve them. Save them. Share them. Use them to create a viable income as an Essential Business Owner.

And did I MENTION that everything is kosher?? The sales pitch pretty much makes itself!!

Now, I want to commend eFoods Global for being pretty optimistic here. I don’t know if I would have the sheer faith and gumption to reassure people that money means anything after the apocalyptic race wars come. This basically assumes that the food is going to help us dig ourselves out and use the profit we made from selling our foodstuffs to give ourselves a leg up during what I am going to term the Second Reconstruction.

I think that today is a good day to ask yourself if YOU have a plan to protect your family when the apocalyptic race wars come. If food distribution is inhibited … it will already be too late.

*Alternately titled: “The One Where I Revel in Sweet, Sweet Facetiousness.”

Written by fudgebudget

January 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm

One Response

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  1. Ha, amazing! Good catch.


    January 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm

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