Wherein I express myriad incredulities


with 3 comments

My parents told me that when my sister turned 3, I could have a cat.  At my sister’s third birthday party, I was ready.

Q-tip was the runt of his litter and named for the spot on the end of his tail.  He was tiny and adorable and mine.

Over time, he got bigger.

And bigger.

Until he turned into a certifiable fatass.

23 pounds of it at his peak. This cat was referred to as “Meatloaf” by the neighbors – who were, incidentally, the same people feeding my cat second breakfast/lunch/dinner.

This was great for me, because I was a chubby kid.  As Q-tip’s heart had to work harder and harder to keep him alive, I loved him all the more for being so lethargic as to become the perfect confidante. Because who is a better listener than someone who can’t talk back and is too lazy to leave?

Eventually, Q-tip developed some sort of skin condition.  This was worrying for me – what would I do if I lost my best fat, furry friend?  We took him to the vet to find out what was causing the open, raw spots on his back and stomach.

Turns out, my gluttonous cat was getting stuck in the neighbor’s cat door on his way to second breakfast.

That idiot cat rubbed himself RAW to get to extra food. Unfortunately, like every animal story, this one ends how you might expect.  This skin infection was the beginning of his slow decline.  When I was 18, Q-tip left us for the big Meow-Mix buffet in the sky. Now I have this mess.

She’s too hyper to be a lazy fatass.  She’s a lousy confidante.  Some days, I miss Q-tip.

*Goo Goo Dolls photo came from here. Tori Amos photo came from here.


Written by fudgebudget

October 2, 2010 at 5:16 am

3 Responses

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  1. Okay, wow, your blog is amazing. Did you go to art school or something?



    October 3, 2010 at 5:10 am

  2. Loved the Q-tip story. And your remembrances of your rooms is amazing. Looks just like them!


    October 3, 2010 at 7:25 pm

  3. Why did you have a picture of the Goo Goo Dolls on your wall… That was the most disturbing part of this story!!!

    Andrew Calvetti

    February 14, 2011 at 5:10 pm

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