Wherein I express myriad incredulities

Worst week ever, part 2

with 2 comments

This is where the pace picks up.

I am rolled to the MRI at 930am, which takes about half an hour.  At 11am, a gastroenterologist comes in to say that there is a rogue gallstone sitting in my common bile duct and they have to take it out via ERCP, an endoscopic procedure.

I make several comments along the lines of “I hope I’m REALLY, REALLY knocked out for this.” since, you know, they’re sticking a camera down my throat, through my stomach, into the intestine, and back up into the bile duct to fish out the offending stone.

12:30pm they take me to the ERCP.  They get me ready for the procedure, which takes forever, talk to me about the twilight sedation (I explain I’m a pro, since I just did this Monday, and I get pitiful looks – not the last of them, by the way), and then knock me out.

Except that I did not stay knocked out.

Somewhere toward the end of the procedure I regained full consciousness and sensation and freaked the hell out because there was a TUBE DOWN MY THROAT and I could feel it and it hurt like bloody hell.

They took the tube out of my throat and then pretty much ignored me while I laid there in tears and got me ready to go back to my room.  No one said a word to me, and they even left some of the stick-on sensors on my back.  I think they just wanted me out of there because they thought that if I remembered their faces I might sue for malpractice or some shit.


But I won’t, because thankfully I did not get the pancreatitis that was a risk with the procedure, and they did actually get the stone out.

A surgeon then came to talk to me about 4pm to let me know that he had seen all of my tests and thought that the gallbladder needed to come out, since we didn’t want a repeat of the rogue stone.  My reaction:

Thankfully my coloring is back to normal at this point.

At 7pm, they came to wheel me into surgery, although I was on the phone with my mother, who was hearing the first of this whole ordeal (because when have I had time to call my mom in all of this?).  The attending physicians heard my half of the conversation, but from the other side it went something like this:

I get down to the OR, where I heard the sweetest words I’d heard all weekend:

What a sweet, sweet man.

He said that completely unprovoked, by the way.  I must have had some big note on my chart that said, “THIS CHICK HAS THE HIGHEST ANESTHESIA TOLERANCE EVER.”

Thankfully, I did NOT wake up during that surgery, although I was revived much more quickly than they are apparently used to.  My surgeon was pretty shocked that I remembered our conversations directly after the fact.  It’s a really crappy tolerance, because it also meant that the morphine drip I got that night did … pretty much nothing.  Took the edge off a bit, but that’s it.  At least I also have a high pain tolerance. (Good grief, I sound like a monster.)

Sunday morning, my surgeon comes back to my room to check on me, says he’s never seen someone’s liver enzymes go back to normal so quickly, and wants to know how someone so healthy otherwise has this problem.

And finally, after eating a few bites of Boca burger and some green beans, I was on my way home at 3pm.  Several hospital employees commented on the fact that they had never seen someone get in and out of a hospital so fast with that many things happening – the MRI, the ERCP, AND the laparoscopy.  For this I am thankful.

Actually, there are many things for which I am thankful here.  I am thankful for my amazing Boyfriend who was always at my side.  I am thankful for that amazing anesthesiologist who knocked me out completely for my surgery.  I am thankful for happening upon a very gifted surgeon randomly on a weekend who – in addition to years and years of advanced laparoscopic training – went to Harvard law and knows EXACTLY how much trouble you can get into for malpractice if you screw up due to negligence 🙂

So now, I’m sore, but otherwise healthy, and now sans gallbladder.  I don’t know why that stupid little organ decided to rebel against me when obviously I am awesome because hello, my liver and other organs are freaking CHAMPIONS.

So while there are upsides here, it was still not a banner week.  I’m hoping this is the end of any excitement in my life for a while.


Written by fudgebudget

September 23, 2010 at 7:59 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Your liver is CHAMPION!!!

    I love the yellow-tinged face, Jess.

    SORRY YOU HAD THE SURGICAL WEEK FROM HELL. It can only improve from here, right? And hey – this has got to be worth a few sick days. 🙂 FEEL BETTER. Good job Boyfriend, too.


    September 23, 2010 at 9:58 pm

  2. […] To be continued. […]

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